current mood: down...

well.. its been long time since the last update.

first thing first, I'm really really really happy to be selected as the top 15... i was very happy! =)

but then, this happy mood didnt stay much longer... as i stepped deeper and got to know the rest of the top14. They are strong competitors! Most of them had much more experience and skills than me.

things are not as bright as i wished tho...

I become down often after all.

For the past few nights, I prayed. I believed if i continue paying more efforts into this.. GOD will not let me down.

-alvin-

少年梦九校联欢会， 终于结束了。

compared to last year's 宇言, this year's gathering. I had put more effort into.

and... the mixture feelings... sigh.. happy!! encore!! come back to me!!

真的很不舍得，真的真的。

也好想像永丰说的那样，抱在一起苦，好怀念。

时间真的过得太快了。。。。 慢下来好吗？？ 顶！

感触的是;

筹备的每一刻。。。Mamak，大伙儿在丰家忙做小册子，炸来炸去，跳了又挑，挑了又在跳。。。 跳舞真的不容易咯。。。唱歌好点, 哈哈！看到那么多ss的这样付出，真的后悔去年的我，一直以来，我都不认真做ss的活动，真他妈的我。对不起，我的兄弟姐妹们！！ 真的对对不起！看了丰，煌，小瑚的不落格。。。。。。 没想到会哭，可能是一直在想着那“最后一次”，我不要啦！！！ 很想做下去，可是，读书的读书，工作的工作，我想像不到如果丰被分去很远的地方就读。。。到时要做打更多油了。 哈哈！惨，又想到“最后一次”了。。。

九校当天；

接待！没想到我会是最早到的那位！多谢我的组员咯，各各迟到，有的甚至不会到，没管希啦，我不怪你们，因为我也常常迟到！哈哈!! 接了puchong, vivi 的，时间已经超过接待的时间了，只剩我一个在那边傻傻地等。。。jinjang selayang 的，真的很像我咯，迟到大王！等到了，带他们去和俊勇和宝成会合，还好有他们，不然我会来不及回到礼堂表演。

开幕，不是很顺畅。。哈哈，也不能怪谁啦。之后，一直想尽办法开声，死都开不了！气！结果，唱走音！丢脸到，希望台风方面有骗到观众。哈哈！ｈｏｈｏｈｏ！！　最爽的是－ｓｏｒｒｙｓｏｒｒｙ！！ ｈｉｇｈ翻天！听到台下喊我的名字时更爽！哈哈！人生第一次，不会跳舞的我这样卖力地跳！！希望我的舞蹈没丢我兄弟姐妹们的脸，paiseh。第一次嘛，又给了你们。第一次对着电脑掉泪。。。 又是你们。真是，前世欠下的啊！哈哈！

感谢；

幕后的SS 及工作人员。。i saw many of you did very well that day!! proud of u guys! thank you!!! without you guys.. the event wont be so successful! i heard comments saying that our gathering was like a CONCERT!! haha!!! =)

lastly, sorry for not continuing typing chinese, something wrong with the settings... paiseh.. and chinese really hard to type lor...long time to finish this. have to check dictionary some more!! omg... btw, i find it really nice typing in chinese. haha. especially when i want to express my feelings... will learn and type more in chinese. haha

what's next? boss? TanEngHong, the first ever and the only person i addressed him as "boss". i know that, u are currently having many difficulty moments right now.. family.. clu.. and studies.. sigh.. i also don know how to help u.. but one thing that i am 100% sure is, me and the rest of ss family... will always be thr for the next coming and the rest coming events!! whenever u say ok!!!

tunwong, thank you for coaching me dancing. I knew i am quite a dumb dancer. haha. sorry a brother... that day.. the boys are really yeng!! haha. i kept watching the sorry sorry videos!

kai ma, thank you for ur advices... u always so steady and calm one.. haha. u did great in gee. don be sad lar, that fella who say u fat should get a slap from me. haha. ok?

4 flowers, donald duck - sorry, i did showed my anger to u during the opening dance training.

moon - really nice experience. haha. next time sing again! u are a better singer than me!

kokchin - i always heard that u are a very responsible person. this time, i really saw it. u did really great in stage progress! omg.. amazing.. bravo captain!

actually - that day u look very yeng! and thank you for ur support, u are always so supportive one. haha.

MBS-KIA, kenqian - sorry a. i forgot to help u do hair!!! shit lor.. sorry sorry. why din remind me?!!

lichen and seemeng - really sorry, i kept making u guys have to redo and redo the dance steps coz i made alot of mistakes.. sorry guys..

wangji - thank you for ur camera... i know u quite angry alr de that time i kept asking u to take picture of 3jianke.. haha.. sorry yea.. u did well in taking photos!! thank you!

hanchong - why sick one.. deng lor... no fun jor.. but u still did wad u supposed to do. goodjob!! luckily u still can support tunwong to do that 45 degrees!

wenhui - thanks alot for ur help... u are kokchin no.2!!! really crazy de.. so responsible!! haha

ahpeng - thank you for fetching me to lrt!! haha. save me some energy. but no claim de a.

meiyee - ur food department really organized lor. compared to last year. haha. i din settle properly. but this year not enuff straw leh... haha

xiuchong & lingquan - haha. great mc leh!!! u two should give each other "ai de bao bao"!!

ailing - luckily u din come backstage fight with me. haha. if not i will not have enuff energy to perform dy.

thank you wenxin, kexin, caini, wanhuey, hsen ming!

WAN MEI DE JU DIAM~

My very own Fairy Tale...

"are you alone?"
"yea.... "
"can i join u for a ride?"
"yea. ^^"
"I thought you are a chinese, because u looks like one. sorry for the mandarin juz now."
"It's ok, i am half chinese, half philippines........... "
"oh! what's ur name??"
"i am Lyn..."

I will not ever forget such a friend like u, Lyn.
sorry for the troubles... the tears that we caused.
i could hardly speak a word that moment... i saw your mummy staring over us, that's why i left without a really proper goodbye greetings...

the fate came so suddenly but it left too soon.
i do not know when and where or even is it possible for us to meet up anymore in the future...
all i can do now is only by expressing my miss for u in words...
what if we could spend more time together.. what if... what if.... we could meet up again...

I really do appreciate this wonderful fate of us. Its a really fantastic pleasure to know such a foreign country friend like you.
You are so friendly..... and gorgeous. ^^





Especially for, Lyn Ng

HONESTY... or not?

some of us might be thinking this could be a new twist~ woohoo...
some of us might be sticking to their original mindset~
some of us don even noe the ugly truth behind...
some of us might never be able to face someone in personal...
some of us might never get a chance to see.... again.

.... honesty....
they're right. they had hard times.
they are right on their thoughts.. maybe...
rather letting those good people and those who can works well and have good management ability out unwillingly... why not we be more honest??
ok.. lets call off... the ones who can do nothing,.. the one who did nothing.. the one that gave nothing.. the one that failed to do something to regain the trust and the faith from those who are leaving...
that person would be me.

如果换我一个人退出, 能换回你们两个人(不包括国文), 我恨不得这样做!!
你们换吧!! 也请你们二位, 回来吧!!!
不要跟我说什么＂勉强没幸福＂．．．　你们回来就是了．．．　求求你们．
不要因为像我这样的人而作出这种选择．　

我了解你们受了多少苦，看到了许多不想看到的．
你们也说人是会变得，可能就经过这一次，状况会有好转呢??

如果要散, 我愿意做最后一位退出的, 看着你们一个一个的抱着 遗憾 退出.

GAPS 空虚

If i am awaken earlier...
there would be no gaps between us.
i would not feel awkward and useless while listening to what u guys had paid and contributed for the camp...

The 4th camp...
it brought me loneliness...
everyone seems much busier... i am the only one who had nothing else to do other than cleaning dishes. i did not like that feeling...
from my side of view...
i seem like a stranger to u guys...
i did not participate totally, coz i cant mix in. i feel like i have to right and the "min requirement" to do so.

Tuan Kang,
honestly... i did not involved in... any of it...
the nite when u guys were so excited dancing on the stage... i was alone behind the stage, worrying that my bad throat condition will ruin the nite... and become a laughter for everyone....

I tried really hard.. to ignore.. ignore wads been said by some of u guys,
i noe i cant help much.. i noe i seem jobless, burdenless... u guys were doing so much things b4 and during... i noe this will surely seems so unfair to u guys...
thats why,, i decided to leave as soon as possible...
i don wish to see the tears in all of u... due to the hard times of planning...
becoz i have not paid a thing for the planning...
sorry...

i really missed out a lot of things... and this is the time i feel really regretful and pessimistic.
九校, genting trip, ampang old town, times square...
i wish that, i would become one of u again... the real one...

i am regret
tht i din join those events
till now, i only find out that,
the gaps have gone so much wider.

空虚，
is all i am feeling now.
no matter wad, u guys would be the dearest friends ever to me.
i still believe that we must be in some sort of family relationship in our past life.
take care guys!
i will miss u guys alot.

GoodBye A-Level, college life, friendss.

really glad that exam is finally over....
i am cleaning the spider webs now... lolz``
woke up in the morning today... no more burden i felt.... lolz... no more exam... woohoo~~
realising tht i have very very very much free time to do watever i wanna to..!! shuang!

爽!!!!

goodbye TAR college...
goodbye SN9H AND SN9G...
goodbye TT nite...
goodbye to those ppl tht i wont be seeing u around KL... sigh... emo part approaching..
take care always my friends...

SNSD GENIE MV!!!!

MY FAV KOREA GIRL SINGING GROUP!!!